Common Editing Mistakes: Showing vs. Telling in Writing

Are you an aspiring author crafting your first romance novel or a seasoned writer polishing a fantasy epic? One of the most common editing mistakes we see at Thoth Editing is telling readers what’s happening instead of showing it through vivid actions, dialogue, or sensory details. This can make your prose feel flat and break reader immersion. In this post, part of our editing mistakes series, we’ll explore the difference between showing and telling, why it matters, and how to fix common telling pitfalls. Let’s bring your story to life!

What Is Showing vs. Telling?

“Telling” summarizes events, emotions, or states (e.g., “She was angry”), while “showing” uses actions, dialogue, or sensory details to let readers experience the story (e.g., “She clenched her fists, her voice sharp”). Showing creates immersive, engaging prose, vital for genres like fantasy, sci-fi, and romance, where readers crave vivid worlds and deep emotions. Overusing telling can make your writing feel like a report rather than a story.

Why Showing Matters

Prioritizing showing over telling enhances your writing by:

• Boosting Immersion: Vivid details draw readers into your world, from a sci-fi starship to a romantic ballroom.

• Deepening Emotions: Showing character feelings through actions creates stronger reader connections.

• Polishing Prose: Dynamic descriptions signal professionalism, key for self-published authors.

• Engaging Readers: Letting readers infer emotions or events keeps them invested.

With over a decade editing best-selling novels, Thoth Editing knows showing is the key to captivating storytelling. Let’s fix those telling mistakes!

Common Telling Mistakes and Fixes

Using a romantic fantasy about a knight, Elara, and a bard, Finn, we’ll highlight three common telling issues and their solutions.

1. Summarizing Emotions
   Mistake: Stating a character’s feelings directly, which tells rather than evokes emotion.
   

   Elara was nervous about the ball. Finn was in love with her.

   Fix: Show emotions through actions, body language, or dialogue to create a vivid picture.
   

   Elara’s fingers twisted her gown as she eyed the ballroom. Finn’s gaze lingered on her, a shy smile breaking through.

   Tip: Replace emotion words like “felt” or “was” with physical reactions or sensory details.

2. Overexplaining Actions
   Mistake: Summarizing actions instead of depicting them, which skips opportunities for immersion.
   

   Finn went to the castle and was tired when he arrived.

   Fix: Describe the action with specific details to engage readers in the scene.
   

   Finn trudged up the castle’s winding path, his lute heavy on his back, sweat beading on his brow.

   Tip: Use strong verbs (e.g., “trudged” instead of “went”) and sensory cues to paint the journey.

3. Info-Dumping Backstory
   Mistake: Telling backstory in large chunks, which halts the story’s flow.
   

   Elara was a knight who had trained for years and was loyal to the queen because her family had served the crown for generations.

   Fix: Show backstory through dialogue, actions, or brief, integrated details woven into the narrative.
   

   Elara adjusted her queen’s crest, its weight a reminder of her family’s centuries of service. “I’ve trained for this,” she murmured.

   Tip: Spread backstory across scenes, revealing only what’s relevant to the moment.

Tips for Showing, Not Telling

• Use Sensory Details: Describe what characters see, hear, or feel to ground readers (e.g., “The wind howled” vs. “It was windy”).

• Leverage Dialogue: Let characters reveal emotions or backstory naturally (e.g., “I’m not ready,” she whispered vs. “She was scared”).

• Revise First Drafts: First drafts often tell; revise to show by replacing summaries with actions or details.

• Study Authors: Read Sarah J. Maas for romantic fantasy or Brandon Sanderson for vivid fantasy world-building.

When to Tell: Telling is okay for minor transitions (e.g., “They traveled for days”) or pacing (e.g., summarizing a quiet moment). Aim for ~80% showing in key scenes, especially emotional or action-heavy moments.

How Thoth Editing Can Help

Immersive storytelling sets your novel apart, and Thoth Editing is here to make it shine. Our developmental editing transforms telling into showing, deepens emotional impact, and refines your narrative. With a nearly 100% client return rate and experience with best-selling authors, we’re your partner from draft to publication. Ready to captivate your readers? Contact us!

Struggled with showing vs. telling? Been there. Share your tips or questions in the comments. Let’s craft immersive stories together!